I’m sorry guys, I don’t think this menage is going to work out.

Listen, I know I got everyone’s hopes up with this suggestion of a menage a trois. But honestly, I didn’t really think you would take me up on the offer. 

It’s not that I wouldn’t be honored to touch genitals with you guys, it’s mostly that I don’t think I’d have anything to wear…

Scouring my closet I really can’t find anything sexy enough for some hot steamy French sex action. I mean I know my purple thong seems sexy in theory, but in actuality, not so much.

I know that in the heat of the moment, there may be some unexpected penis touching. Trust me, that is not making me hesitant about this. I’m having big problems picking out the right music for the situation. I was thinking maybe some Pizzicato 5, but that reminds me too much of my ex. Perhaps Sergio Mendes, but that may be even too sultry for sexy three-way action.

Also you know what, there is a really important baseball game on tonight and I feel like I will not be fully invested in the satisfaction of all parties involved, myself included. And frankly that is not fair to anybody. I strongly feel that a menage a trois demands the full and complete attention of everyone.

So in summary, it’s not you, it’s me.



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